Another Birthday

Laina turned four today and I am struck by how fast she grows up. Overstated I know, but truth as well. I remember when my kids were just babies that sometimes I would be thankful that they were still alive. A strange thought I know, but I couldn't believe that I had somehow managed to care for them well enough that they were still breathing and growing and learning. They were so fragile and dependent. It amazed me.

I fear I have frittered away time with them, even now as I sit here writing this I could be playing Barbies or cars or Barbies in cars. How much time is too much? Do they feel loved? Do they know how precious they are? Do they know how much I enjoy them? Is just telling them these things enough or do they need to "hear" it in another way?

I have been saying for years that life is harder than I thought and the same can be said for parenting. Sure I can do my best to keep my kids alive and safe, but how do I help them thrive? How do I figure out the way they should go so we can train them up in it, so they will not depart from it? Do I really need to know this stuff or do I just need to live? Thank God that He is a good Father who gives good gifts. That He can redeem the mistakes we have made and will make in raising these sweet beings. Make us more and more like you Jesus...please.