The first month

Today was the last day of the first month of homeschooling. I think the kinks are pretty much worked out finally. It only takes us about an hour in the morning, so not nearly as long as I thought it would. Laina has gotten acustomed to sitting and listening to the lesson or playing quietly while we work, with only needing to be reminded periodically. I discovered after the first week that she behaves much better if we learn something with her too. So we have started working on colors, counting and letters. She loves it. It is so rewarding to see them learn and loving to learn. I can't wait to teach Kaleb to read. He LOVES books and will be so excited to read them himself finally. After Christmas seems like a long time to wait. This picture is from the first day of school.


I am posting some pictures of the trip the kids and I took to Indiana at the beginning of September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle, visited friends from our milk cooperative, went to the zoo in Louisville and attended Ryan's sister's baby shower. Here are a couple pictures to give you a taste of the fun.




Laina and Aunt Mary feeding birds nectar.










Riding an elephant statue.

Kaleb's size as compared to a gorilla.

Playing in the park with our friend Emma.

First Day of School

Today we started school. Kaleb has been looking forward to those few hours of our morning for a long time and today they were here. We woke up and were making our beds before my alarm went off at 6:30. We had a fun morning, but a few kinks need to be worked out yet. Like what is a good discipline for not wanting to learn what is in the lesson for the day? How in the world do I keep Laina entertained for three hours? Where can I schedule in a break so those little legs get some of their jiggles out? How do I make sure learning remains fun and not a chore? All with time I'm sure. For now I will play it by ear--a valid strategy when you don't really know what you are doing.

New Pictures

We got new family pictures taken. You can see us below. Aren't we just gorgeous?

Staying out of it

Today for the first time I encountered little kids who were mean to mine. It was painful. I had to restrain myself from interfering as that would not help Kaleb learn to deal with these kind of things that will happen in his life. He needs to learn that not everyone is going to want to play with him and not everyone is going to be kind. I wanted to see how he handled it. He did pretty well. The story begins when we got to the park. Kaleb said he wanted to play with the other kids that were there. I told him he needed to ask them if he could play. So he did. They said no. His feelings were hurt at that direct rejection, so he kind of stood off to the side with his arms crossed and head down. Then the kids kind of taunted him, "are you crying?" (said in fairly snotty tones) Then he just kept trying to play with them. Eventually one of them did kind of play for a little while before returning to their friend, but the other one went off and moped and pouted. I stayed out of it, for the most part. I gave the kids a stern look when I passed by and suggested to Kaleb that maybe he should play somewhere else if they didn't want to play with him. Other than that, I just listened and played with Laina. Restrained I think. :)

One of the things about this that bothers me is these two kids were 4. Yes, 4. Aren't kids still supposed to be nice at 4?! I don't remember being mean at 4...later yes, but not at 4! What is this exclusivity about? Are children already developing cliches at such a young age and if so, where are the parents curbing this behavior? Or maybe it is the behavior of the parents. I don't know. I realize that children do not always behave in a manner their parents approve of. I just thought this particular phase started a little later in life. I know young children are sometimes painfully honest, but I can't say I have ever encountered ones this young that were just mean.

A learning experience for both of us I guess.

Good Soil

The sermon in church today was on the parable of the soils from Mark. And although I have heard this passage taught on a few times, as Scripture regularly does, a new depth was added for me today. The teacher said that while this parable applies to those who do not yet believe in Christ, perhaps it applies even more to those who already do. The things that I understood in this parable more than before are from my experience being married to a farmer and trying to garden some on my own, little tidbits that for me make the passage more real. I thought I'd share them with you. The passage is Mark 4:1-20.

First, of the four different kinds of soil, three of them require extra work. Well-trodden, compacted soil (by the road) needs to be tilled. Rocky soil needs the rocks dug up and pulled out. Thorny soil needs the weeds removed. None of the soils are beyond use. All can be redeemed to be good soil with work and pain. Jesus says our hearts are the soil and God's Word is the seed.

Jesus says the problem with the well-trodden soil is that Satan comes and steals way the Word. The seed is just out in the open for him to snatch. Even if a plant were to get a start here, the chances that it would be trodden on and killed are high. The speaker this morning suggested that possibly the church has done its fair share of walking over God's seedlings in their path. On our farm nothing grows in the tire-track ruts that go from field to lot to field. The soil is too compacted and it gets driven on enough that nothing has a chance to get a good start. In order for that ground to produce something it will have to be worked. My husband would have to rip it and plow it and disc it before he could plant it. And the route through the fields would have to change its course.

The rocky soil doesn't allow the roots of the plant to go deep so it can withstand the heat of persecution and affliction. Just as a plant in a garden needs a good root system to gather water and nutients so it can withstand the heat of the sun, so too do Christians. Rocks block our ability to sink our roots. What are the rocks? I think the rocks are the character flaws within ourselves that inhibit our surrender to the will of God and what He has for us. We need to get those flaws out of our hearts to allow God's Word to flourish.

The thorny soil chokes the seed. Nothing good grows in a garden overtaken with weeds. It just doesn't produce. The weeds take all the nutrients and sun that all plants need to bear fruit. Jesus says the thorns are the worries of this world, and the desire for riches and other things. If our hearts are overrun with the cares of this world, where is the room for God's Word to flourish? Matthew 6:25-34 comes to mind here. "...Do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" The cares of the world. Note that Scripture doesn't say that God's Word dies in this soil; it lives but doesn't produce fruit. I am reminded of my garden last year, especially of my tomato plants. Fairly early in the summer I got behind on the weeds and never caught up. The tomatoes were overrun. The plants still lived though the season, but they produced very few tomatoes. They were a waste of garden space. If I had only weeded, they would have produced.

Jesus says in John 15 that every branch that doesn't bear fruit will be taken away and those that do produce fruit will be pruned by the Father so it will produce more. (vs. 2) All three of the poor soils don't produce fruit. Even if we are good soil that produces fruit, we will be pruned so we produce more.

It is important to realize that just because we till the soil and remove the rocks and get the weeds out, the soil is not necessarily good. We have made it better than it was, but not good. For soil to be good it needs fertilizer and continued care. Farmers have to add fertilizer to their crops at least once a year. The plants need these nutrients for food. Jesus says man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. God's Word in Scripture and in prayer are a Christian's food. We need to fertilize our hearts with these regularly to produce a harvest. We also have to keep the weeds down. Those who have a garden know that weeding is not a once a year thing. It is more like a once a week thing. We have to continuously pull the worldly weeds from our hearts and throw them into the fire. I read an article recently about garden weeds. It said that if you just uproot weeds and leave them in the garden they will come back, either because they will seed out and multiply there or they will work their roots back into the soil. You have to take them out of the garden and burn them to truely get rid of them. Weeds are tricky things. Sometimes they look like a nice plant until they get bigger and then they are really hard to pull. You have to make sure you get the root or they will just grow again.

A gardening tip that applies here is that when you plant your good plants closer together, they don't allow the weeds to grow. When we as Christians have the fruit of the Spirit growing thick in our lives because we have tended the soil of our hearts by fertilizing and ridding it of things that compete with fruitfulness--rocks and weeds--there will not be room for the weeds to grow up.

So those are some of my thoughts about that passage. Hope you were able to wade through them.

Events

So, Laina is three now. I've heard from a few people that three is worse than two, although they don't say why that is the case. I can't say three was especially hard with Kaleb, but then I must confess that I don't remember Kaleb specifically at three. I have included a couple pictures from her birthday here. There are more of them, but you will have to look at Facebook if you care to view. We celebrated on the Friday before with her cake and presents from Ryan, Kaleb and I and then we celebrated in minature on her birthday as Ryan and I headed to D.C. that day, but Grandma Gayla was there to celebrate with more presents from her and Grandpa and uncles, aunts and cousins. She loves her birthday and was looking forward to it. It is so fun when they hit that stage. The second picture is of a princess cape made by Grandma Gayla worn with her new long princess gloves.

The weekend before her birthday one of my best friends from college got married in Colorado. It was a short trip, arrived Saturday night and flew out Sunday night, but well worth the trip. I loved spending time with old friends and acquaintances who I don't get to see very often, some of whom I hadn't seen in close to a decade. I know it's hard to believe I am that old. :) Here is a bubbly picture of them leaving to head to the reception. Again if you want to see more, you'll have to look on Facebook.

Ryan and I headed to D.C. the morning of Laina's birthday to talk to our representatives about issues in the dairy industry. Yes, that is called lobbying. It was a great experience. It was a little nerve wracking at first, but once you start the nerves subside and you realize that these are just people who happen to live and work in Washington. For the most part, they were nice. We also got to see some of the local attractions, monuments mostly, which was interesting. Our tour guide was knowledgable about the sights and history and was fun to listen to. The first picture is of me in front of the Lincoln Memorial and the second is of the Korean War Memorial, which has a lot of symbolism within it's design. If you ever get the chance to see it, make sure you find out what they are.

Finally, today we finished putting together a playhouse for the kids that my parents got them as part of their birthday presents. They LOVE it. It is the focus of much of their passion and time and scheduling of their days. Already they have planned to go back out to play in it tomorrow after Laina's pictures. This last picture is of them in the playhouse after we got it assembled.

John 11:35

Really I have questions about this whole passage, but semi-randomly I thought about this particular verse the other day. It is quite possibly the shortest verse in the Bible, but what really does it mean? I mean, why did He weep? He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead way back in verse 4. Was he empathizing with the crowd in their loss? And why was He troubled by their weeping? What is going on here? What is there to be sad about? Was Lazarus in hell? Because that would be sad, even if it was only for a short time. Which brings me to another thought. Did all Jews before Jesus go to hell? Excepting of course Moses, Abraham, David, and others specifically mentioned as righteous. I mean if God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and no one comes to the Father except through Jesus, then I think it would have to be "yes." Wouldn't it? I suppose we can never really know the answer to that. I think I'm going to have to study this passage some more.

Apathy

So I'm watching this semi-documentary on PBS Monday night called "We Shall Remain" that is about Native American tribes, this particular one about the Cherokee in what is Georgia today. I am fighting mad at the injustice these people suffered because of settlers' pure greed and sense of entitlement to something that wasn't theirs. (I tend to do this when confronted with injustice, that is get angry not sad.) My husband, who can be quite wise, said that entitlement seems to have been around for a long time even though we tend to think it is a fairly new phenomenon. Today I'm thinking, was it a sense of entitlement that led Adam and Eve to take that fruit from the forbidden tree? Entitlement has at its very core the sin of pride. "I should have this, in fact I deserve this, because I am good enough. " We aren't though, are we? Today I am confronted with the fact that I am not good. I deserve hell. The horrible sin of pride has tightly wrapped its tentacles around my heart and I am having a hard time prying them off, perhaps because I often don't even care to try. When did I become apathetic?

I've been in a bit of a mood since Sunday when the guest pastor spoke about the five points of the Gospel. It reminded me that something isn't right. I am not fully surrendered to the call of Christ. There are things that I probably would do if I truely thought God was calling me to them, but it would be a fight and I don't know that my heart would be joyful in it. Somewhere along this journey I have lost the fire. It once burned so strong and now a flicker every now and then is about all there is. I don't feel like I am where I am supposed to be; not doing the things I'm supposed to be doing. I am off kilter. Now I pray this feeling stays so I do something about it instead of numbing or ignoring it as I have in the past. How do I number my days aright and prioritize my life accordingly? I hope you are not struggling with this, this dark night of the soul, although I'm sure we all do at some point. There must be light shining somewhere, right? I hope I order my life in such a way that I see it soon and begin to remember my first Love.

Just an update

Sometimes life flies by so fast. How does that happen? I remember being young and it seemed to take FOREVER for some planned, exciting event to arrive. Now I rush around at the last minute trying to get ready for it because it snuck up on me. I have heard a theory about this that seems akin to relativity and that seems to make sense, but the tension remains. I want to really live and not just exist, but it seems that the necessary too often takes up all my time.

Grandma Gayla came to stay with the kids for a few days while Ryan and I were at the DFA Annual meeting in Kansas City. The kids LOVED their time with her as they don't get to see her very often. There were sporadic tears from Kaleb thoughout the day yesterday after she left. Today has been better although he wanted to call her right away, at 6:30, this morning.

The annual meeting was good. We got to connect with some friends that we hadn't seen since last year and it always is an excellent learning opportunity. I'm very sad that this is our last year, unless we are elected to an office within our district.

It is snowing here and I love it. Not as much as when it snows in the fall and winter, but still loving it. I always want to snuggle in and watch a movie when it happens. Maybe after my workout. Wyoming got at least 2 feet, yes FEET, of snow this last week, which changed my plans to return with my mom and work on their landscaping. Maybe later this year.

Still Learning

I have recently admitted to myself that I am not a nature lover. I have fought this admission for some time now, but it is just not worth it. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind being outside I just don't get a thrill from it. I like gardening, or walking, or running outside, but just being there and relaxing is not my thing. I don't know if I am just not a "be-er" yet, but I really only like being outside if I am doing something. I attribute this lack of desire for wanting to relax outside to three main things: 1) The atmosphere is never right outside. It is either too hot, or too cold, or too windy, or too dusty. 2) The furniture for the outdoors is not very comfortable. 3) BUGS. I really don't like bugs and we must admit that you can't be outdoors without encountering them unless it is very cold which would point us back to reason number one. A screened porch is my ideal for relaxing in nature--the fresh air, comfortable furniture and a greatly reduced bug population. This is why a screened porch is on my list of must-haves for any future abode.

Precious Moments

So many precious things happened today that I felt I should record them so on those no-so-precious days I can look back and remember. I wonder though, are these things happening everyday and I just don't notice them as much, or are some days just more precious than others?

We have a new habit. Every morning when the kids wake up they climb the gates on their room doors--the gates that somehow give me a sense of peace that they won't fall down the stairs in the middle of the night--and come into my room, crawl under the covers and wake me up. Laina usually wakes me up while trying to get into bed because it's a little too high for her to climb into by herself yet. They ask if they can watch Martha, which is a PBS show about a talking dog that we enjoy, me for the vocab. and style of animation and them...I guess I don't know why they like it. They stay there until Ryan gets in the house so we can go down and have breakfast. Today, Ryan was late. I wanted to get up because I was hungry and the to-do list for the day was weighing on my mind, but Kaleb informed me that (paraphrased slightly) "we have to stay in bed until Daddy comes in and you tell us to hide and then he finds us and tickles us." Yes, I was held hostage in my bed.

Later we went over to Ryan's grandparents' house for coffee time, also a regular occurence for the kids, and Ryan's grandma started teasing Kaleb that he was her big boy. Kaleb came over to me and told me to tell her he was mine. Apparently this is a teasing that happens regularly. As we were about to leave Grandma called Kaleb hers again and Kaleb said "No." Then to me exasperatedly, "Tell her again, Mom."

We went out to play in the snow after that as cabin fever is hitting hard and I think it might be melted most of the way by tomorrow before it snows again Wednesday and the kids love playing in the snow. We went on a walk toward the back of the farm and on our way back Laina fell. I was in the lead and they were walking together so when I turned around to see how they were getting along I see Kaleb bending over his sister, who is sitting on her bottom on the ground, trying to lift her up. This didn't work so he yelled to me to come help her. I told her how to get up and then they walked to me holding hands.

All this before lunch.

Growing up

I think Laina is almost potty-trained. The era of the diaper is over. We still use pull-ups when she sleeps, just in case, but she hasn't had an accident while sleeping for quite a while. She sure was easier to train than her brother. Although she seems to desire being a baby with the baby talk and crawling sometimes; mostly baby talk.

Kaleb is learning to write letters and what sounds letters make. He doesn't have a ton of desire to do so, but I keep reminding him that he can't go to school until he learns these skills. I don't know that homeschooling is going to work because I can't seem to figure out how to motivate him well. Maybe I just need to practice.

I head to Houston tomorrow for a little over 24 hours to attend my aunt's funeral. Weird to think that I am in that stage of life where my elders start dying, although she wasn't old--right around 50 I would guess. A sad trip.

Check out the new link on the blogs I follow, quiet musings from home. It is written by a college friend who allows us a peek into her daily world.