Salt

I was thinking about salt for some reason today. I was reading Matthew 5:17-20 in my quiet time and the passage right before that is about salt and light, and maybe that is why. Regardless, I was thinking about it. I don't think Jesus used salt for his illustration by chance. Sure it was common in that time, but I'm sure other spices were as well. So there must be something about salt that sets it apart. One thing is that it hurts when you get it in wounds. If you're anything like me, sometimes you don't even know you have a cut (or you've forgotten) until you happen to get salt in it. And then you know. And the only way to make it feel better is if you wash it out with water, right? So, I was thinking about how if salt is truth, God's truth, then sometimes it may cause irritation and pain to some wounds of people. Wounds they might not even realize they have. And this is not bad. Why? Because it causes them to come to the living water to be washed clean so that wound can heal, so the pain can be alleviated. Jesus is the living water. Anything that causes people to come to him, even pain, is good.

First Dance Recital

Laina's first dance recital was Saturday, Jan. 29. I got to be a backstage mom, who watch the girls (ages three to five) while they are off stage and make sure they get to the stage for their performances. Laina enjoyed performing for the audience and getting to wear a tutu. No stage fright at all. They all did a great job and looked really cute.

Performing with the other pink class to "Jesus Loves the Little Children."

Laina's arabesque

Doing their class routine to "With All My Heart."

Performing in the finale to "Awesome God."

Dangerous

On Thursday mornings I have the opportunity to walk with a group of women who pray silently as they move their feet. I have only attended this walking prayer group once before this Thursday. This Thursday I was convicted that I needed to go. It sounded windy and cold outside and I didn't want to and so I said "Are you sure? It sounds yucky out there." But the conviction stayed so I got up, early. God wanted to meet me there. I had expectation therefore of some great word, but received only two...move and look. What those mean exactly I don't know yet, but I acted upon them to the best of my ability. One as a confirmation of something I have been hearing for a few years and one as a prod to action. We'll see if I'm hearing correctly or not by the outcome.

During this walk I also felt led to pray what my church has been calling "the dangerous prayer;" "Lord, do with me what you want, when you want, where you want." Immediately after praying it God led me to understand that it isn't dangerous. First, because we are just acknowledging what God can do anyway. He created us, we are His to do with as He pleases. He does not need our permission to do anything with us. We have been bought with a price. We are no longer our own. We are slaves to the Most High. By praying that we are really just agreeing to particpate with Him in His plans for us. Second, because He loves us and will be with us through whatever comes into this life. It is not a guarantee that we will be free from pain, but pain is not always a bad thing. I have heard that the yoke of Christ is grace, which I don't doubt is a part of it. But I think the big, heavy, on the neck of the oxen part is obedience. Obedience isn't always easy, but it is always good. Good because the One we are to be obedient to is good and He has good things planned for us; even if we don't get them in this part of eternity we will get them in heaven.

Starting School

Labor Day was our first day of school. I love that I can set when we start according what works best in our schedule. I have chosen to start on Labor Day mainly so I don't forget when to start, which would be more and more typical.

This year Laina is doing pre-school, so there are still a few bugs to work out with divided attention. Kaleb doesn't much like to work on his own yet and Laina can't. With practice it will improve I'm sure, mostly on my end. Laina is learning to write and working on other basic skills, most of which she already has mastered. Good just to make sure. It has been interesting with her that she has learned to recognize letters by writing them. She already can write her name, and usually does often on any drawing she's working on, and can write Kaleb's name too. It is interesting when their skill level exceeds their cognitive ability. I must watch that I don't push her too hard.

I was a bit concerned that I might have chosen too hard a reading program for Kaleb. He has to sound out many of the words so far and it is a second grade level and he is in first grade. God reminded me though that last year when he was learning to read we would go over some of the new words before we encountered them in the story. I have tried that this week and it is going much better. He doesn't dread it so much and it doesn't take so long.

Both the kids have enjoyed working lately. They help bring the cows into the barn, feed calves and Kaleb enjoys scraping the manure out of the barn. I also love that about homeschooling. They have plenty of time to do what they love outside of school.

Pictures

It has been a while since I have posted pictures. Thus I decided today would be the day!

Laina with her new doll house.

Blowing out the candles on her Barbie birthday cake.

Ryan and the kids in the tree house at my parents' cabin.

Cooling off in a water tank on a hot summer day.

Another Birthday

Laina turned four today and I am struck by how fast she grows up. Overstated I know, but truth as well. I remember when my kids were just babies that sometimes I would be thankful that they were still alive. A strange thought I know, but I couldn't believe that I had somehow managed to care for them well enough that they were still breathing and growing and learning. They were so fragile and dependent. It amazed me.

I fear I have frittered away time with them, even now as I sit here writing this I could be playing Barbies or cars or Barbies in cars. How much time is too much? Do they feel loved? Do they know how precious they are? Do they know how much I enjoy them? Is just telling them these things enough or do they need to "hear" it in another way?

I have been saying for years that life is harder than I thought and the same can be said for parenting. Sure I can do my best to keep my kids alive and safe, but how do I help them thrive? How do I figure out the way they should go so we can train them up in it, so they will not depart from it? Do I really need to know this stuff or do I just need to live? Thank God that He is a good Father who gives good gifts. That He can redeem the mistakes we have made and will make in raising these sweet beings. Make us more and more like you Jesus...please.

May

I am finally the owner of a digital camera. I am not one who likes to settle, so I waited until the kind of digital I wanted was within reach. I really like it; especially that I don't have to get film developed before I can post pictures online. You will be seeing more pictures from me, I tell ya.

Another exciting development is that while I was visiting my family my husband bought me a horse. She is just what I wanted, as I would have had a hard time settling for less (see above), a gray mare. Last night we finally agreed on the name Anabel, which means lovable. She really is. She is two years old and loves to be petted and talked to. She is great. Here is a picture of her.

She leads really well too. She is not broke yet, but hopefully that will be arranged soon. Ryan was shocked by how much I love her, as I am not very fond of animals. I must confess, sometimes she scares me a little because I am reminded that if she wanted to she could really hurt me and there is nothing I could do about it. Makes a person feel small and out of control. It is a blessing that she is so gentle.

Finally, we have about four weeks left of school, which is about what I was shooting for. I want to go as close to year-around as I can because then the kids retain the information better. We need a break though, so beginning to middle of July should be just right as we won't start again until Labor Day. We are both really enjoying school, well I don't enjoy the science experiment part so much. If he wasn't homeschooled, I would have a hard time even helping Kaleb with his school work because I wouldn't know how the teacher was teaching it. I would fear choosing a different method and confusing the poor boy. I also like that we can tie school into all kinds of things because I'm intimately familiar with what he is learning about right now. This most definately was the right choice for us.